Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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