I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
