We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
