He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
