I want to stick my p in your. b.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
