so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
