I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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