she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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