He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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