Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
