My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
