so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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