You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize