i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
