Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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