he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think i have herpe
just one?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
