We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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