you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
