that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
