With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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