I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
