There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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