Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're a waste of cheezeits
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
