I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize