morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
