Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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