Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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