last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she peed on how many people?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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