I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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