do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
