Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
