Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize