Barsexuality is the new black.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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