Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
