So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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