And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
