i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we made out on top of his cat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
