yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
