Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
