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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize