i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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