She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
