i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
