just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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