can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm bleeding and have questions
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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