And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
