i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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