So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
