Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize