Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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