So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
