hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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