But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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