I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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