When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
