i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
