she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
