I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
