Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
